Shot

So i've been through/alright with this for a year, counting now, a year and a half or whatever. But sometimes, it just randomly hits me of a thought of "i dont have my OWN best friends." (not including joey because he's in college and he's doing his thing, even then im probably like in the 20s of his list) Junior year, i dont remember how but my best friends somehow ended up colliding with each other ; so my own best friends that i've had are now also bestfriends with each other. As months went by, i realized i didnt have my own best friends. (im not sure if that makes sense) Basically, im pretty much upset and jealous of the fact that they have their OWN best friends that i dont talk to. it's not like i dont want them to be friends with each other, but..
It just makes me sad.

& if anyone brings up about me having a boyfriend then im totally gonna explode cause it aint the same.

I've been pretty positive for the past months. a year. But feeling like this everyday, even just for few seconds, minutes, it starts to build up.
So here i am.
Blue, upset, and sad.
Blogging.

On top of that i have to see things i dont want to see.
& I have to hear/see the name i dont want to hear/see.