Merry PartyRockk ;

I never thought my mother would buy me this ^^^
Especially cause i kneww we didnt have moneyy to buyy presents.
I love my mom
<3

My step father;;

of course. He's the only one who can bring me downn. All he talks about is education. The words that comes out from his mouth are repetitions from the past. When he tries to be "cool" it just makes him seem lame. Family time my ass; he's the reason why i dislike staying home. I cant stand the sight of him. My mom should've gotten a divorce years ago;; too late noww.

Cherryy

Chilled with the wrestlers. Playinn pool.

There's a love triangle

"She aint got a man. But she's not alone.
Miss Independent. Yeeah, she got herr own."

CherryBlossom.

Perhaps..?

It's annoying

when people judge , especially when they do not knoww the whole situation.
But then, everyone is like thatt.

Shadyy.

Kinda upsetting depending on who they are.

I can blog from my phone noww. :) ?

Je suis triste.

Never satisfied ;; Envy strikes every moment of my life.

寂しい.

Hangover ;

My head still feels kinda heavyyy .

Last night was football players' kick back.

Lorena & I didnt have anything to do so we decided to go

instead of the two bonfires we were invited to.

Football players are totally crazyyy.

They were freakinn gone when we got there ;

around 10:30pm.

We played a drinking game with bud light, nastyy beer.

The forth person to pick a King had to drink 8oz of captain morgan and beer mixedd.

Kept drinking, taking shots, blaziin till 3am.

i crashed around 4:30.

Too much things happened.

basically, CrazyyAssNight.

Had a hangoverr,

got home like an hour ago.

Paperplanes

I want to flyy ; higher than the clouds.
Floating in the airr,
dreaming continously.

I am done ;;

"You know we gotta problems but you failed to fix it,
Im like, you need to go somewhere else with this shit,
Cause i aint gonn put up with chuu."


Wont stop & doesnt give upp like a football playerr
but super girly than a little girl.
Hell, eff that.
This shits gone too far.



On the other notee ;;
i locked it

Some of the greater things in life....

"Are unseen. That's why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream."

Homecoming ; it could've been better

But i danced so i suppose it was alright.

After partyy didnt happen,

they just smoked some pottt.

So Lorena&I leftt.

Cherryhead looked bombb

Wasting time

infatuation.

Im making some connections!!
Cup of infatuation numbahh fourteeeeen.

First drumline field show ;
it wasnt greatt
but it's all goooooood.
i got to see Kevin Uson <3

Ohhhdamnnnnn ;;
there miight be some
sword fights and battles happening tomorrow

Ohhhlala.

WazzaSugahhBBY?!

Todayy was such an amaziiiing day. [[well technically yesterday]]

Anywhooo,

My football playerr ;; wassuuuuuuuuuup;)

Hueneme vs Oxnard.

Victoryy .

Yeeeeuhh!

Miles Apart .

I have a shoulder i can cry on.
I have kids to hang out with during lunch.
I have people to text.
I have people to tell my feelings & my mind.
Yet i still feel so distant from everyone.

Everyone i used to know, and everyone i know now.
It's that feeling like.. i do have few people
but i dont .. have someone so close to me.

Envy is a hideous thing.

Say muhh name

"You're actin kinda shady, aint callin me 'baby' "
i had a sudden erge to listen to Destiny's Child.
Bwahah.

Ohhhhh my, my!
Being absent for three days & i am not behiiiind in any classes. I am so glad i have easy teachers.
Frenchhyy, hah,
i loveee that class, getting distracted!
Football game,
found muhh boys
:)
That's wassuuuuup,
fuhhsheeezy.

RIP

Summer2006 ; my bunny Cappuccino died.

Today October14, 2009 ; Cappuccino's brother, my bunny Mocha died.

:(

My bbys.

Miserable at Best ;

I know you're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go.

Since Saturday, i've been sick.
The doctor said it may be a flu, im not sure
because i got a flu shot a week ago.
Thank goodness my fever is gone,
but i cant stand or walk or around
or else i'll get dizzy with headaches.

Untouched.

A kissy on the cheek ; how cute.
Bummer.

People's stupidity & ignorance is outta control.
Dumb boyys and beezys.

Breathe You ;

1 . I've been looking for colleges,
& my number one college i want to attend is Otis Arts & Design .
But i fear of going there, not because im going to be far away from friends or family.
But the fact that im going to witness people who has waaaaaay more art advantages than me.

I've never took any art classes except elementary.
So seeing people with so much skills just makes my self-esteem lower.
& takes my motivation away.

2. TOO much, let me repeat, TOO MUCH, random boys trying to 'get to know me' ;;
and they're not the good random boys either.
They're actually ... pushyy.

3. I have to pee.

4. Imma end this blog :)

Lorena

"I should just book it."
i love Lorena Sanchez :)

Bipolar

Some needs to stop the time for a bitt,
ferrsureee.


I miss Jessica, Joey, Kevin U,
Fuuuuuuhhhh.

i feel proud because i can .. kinda, understand french.
Yeee! After a year.
...


i need a job. Yo.

Note to Self :

"I Miss You Terribly"

-From First to Last.

Three days ago, i've came down to a sudden fever.

Probably because of the stress.

Last night, went to Malibu beach with Arturo.

i've never seen so many stars in my life.

One Shadow

The shadow is everywhere.
Doesnt matter how far i am,
Doesnt matter if it's foggy.
Always in my sight, even from the corner of my eyes.

With a light.

How odd ; A shadow and a light.

Everyday, most of the day.

Whenever i spot a shadow,

there's always a light.

Why am i falling into the curiosity?

Lighter

Weight is off my shoulders,
im a bit better .
I feel accomplished.
It feels nice.
I'll have to see what's going to happen tomorrow.

Use Somebody

"Use Somebody" - Kings Of Leon.
:)

So first week of school is over.
It would be very helpful if i could communicate with the classmates in History & English.
& I really want 7th period dismissal.
Hmm .... I wouldnt want to look back Saturday morning.

Im proud of myself of finishing my homework.

Well.. i suppose that's pretty much it. Hah,
how boring.

Unstable

Headache.
Second day of school and i already feel like ditching school.

Last Day of Summer'09

My day started early at 7am, i dont really remember what i did.

Around 7, went to the gate to hang out with Arturo ;;

Went to see Transformers 2 (Finally!!).

It was fun :)

Then drovee back around 10 something

smelling like cigs.

Last day of my Sophomore Summer.

Tomorrow is the First Day of Junior dayy.

Malibu Beach

[Enter Picture Here]
^^ Sadly, i have no picture of the beautiful sunset at Malibu Beach because i didnt take my camera.
In fact i didnt know i was going there.

My day started off with three crappy dreams in a row.
Then off to drumline.
Learning second part of Walk This Way. It's intense.

Arturo shows up near the end of the practice.
Then he told me to blindfold myself with this green bandana.
*drive drive drive*
& we end up at the Malibu Beach.
*climb climb climb * them mountain
At the top,
i saw the pretty sunset :)
Sat there and talked until it got late.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh.
going down, more scary than going down.
At one point, i just slid down, i thought i was gonna die.
Fosheeeezy.
Arturo hurt his hand :(
im sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- > Went to Jack in the Box,
i fell asleep while Arturo drove me to the gate
:)

Clark always makes my mood :)


PS. R.I.P Coach Laut
:(

Come Again

I went to the beach today with Lorena. Surprisingly only stayed there for an hour or two.

Got yelled, "Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup Gurrrrrrrl" from across the street.

Creepers in a car asked us if we needed a ride.

Do people actually think they could get girls by asking if they need a ride...?

Went to Jack in the Box, saw Christian! :)

Saw this adorable fat kid at Bubbling Springs park for football practice i guess. He was the very last one to finish running. :(
Still cute though.

I'd spoil an adorable fat kid. Like......

"You want ice cream?"

"Mhmm.... :("
"Awww!! Eat sweetie! Here i'll give you cake and doughnuts too!"

I dislike when i find a song that can relate to a situation or how im feeling at that moment. haha.

"Come Again" by M-flo ft. Lisa.

Yay for a japanese song

im done trying.

Oh yeah ; Sevenmonths.

NASA

"Never Let The Fear Of Striking Out Stop You From Playing The Game"
- a quote Lorena told me.

School starts in ... six days.

i still need to buy papers and whatnot.

I found a college that i would like to go to!

Otis College in LA

(Arts and Design)

Major in Communication Arts.

Bachelor.

Fasho.

Lately i've been wanting to draw something.. Amazing.

but i havent got any.. inspirations.

Niko told me im supposed to be 'pure'

Oh hey, btw

For your entertainment

vvvvvvvv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qt8t0fO5H4

Beach Fair ;

Today i went to the Beach Fair with Jonathan, Melinie, and Kevin1. (we found kevin3 there)

I thought the fair was very boring.

But i had fun with the group.

:)

Friday

Yesterday, i woke up at 5:30am to get ready to go to Six Flags.
I honestly can say, that Arturo is the greatest friend. Ever.
Even if we call each other names, hah.

I went on Goliath for the first time,
i was really scared. hah
First drop, oh gad, i closed my eyes.
Then went on Scream, Colosuss, Batman, JetStream, Log Jammer, and Viper.
We could've gone more but the line was too long.

It was lame cause i guess i got dehydrated or something.
My chest, throat felt sick as if i was gonna throw up. hah.

Went to this restaurant, Fry's, then to Jessica's house.
Stayed out until 10pm.

I get home....
hah, shit happens.

Strawberry Swisher pt.1

Amazing song by Dance Gavin Dance

I wish i was the only light in your visions. I wish i was the only star that shined the brightest when you look at the night sky. I wish i was the oxygen you cannot live without. I wish the melody to your ears. I wish i was your thoughts when you wake up and before you sleep. I wish i was your escape. I wish i was your heart beat. I wish i was your everything, your World.
& I wish i could stop wishing ;
they're useless
and it just makes me seem like i am too attached.

The weight gets worse every time when my heart beats.
My ambitions are interrupted by my fears.

Words

You don't need to repeat your words as if i am the age of a five year old ; i admit that compared to my friends around me, i am probably the most obtuse person. However, your continuous words, the same exact lines, with that same exact tone, reduces my self-esteem and my confidence even more. I feel as if i am not going to accomplish anything in my life.
Your words stabs me.

11:23

I want to loosen your blindfolds but Im not visible. It seems like I am unable to reach you because it seems as if you're a thousand miles away. Your mind is kept a mystery and locked, even if I have the key to explore it. Im scared to question you because I feel neglected. I feel as if Im falling off from the palm of your hands. I find it nerve-racking to communicate because I may not receive a response.
But... I cannot seem to leave where I stand.
In fact, I dont want to leave where I stand.

Selfish

Everyone is selfish in their ways,
but seems like lately, people around me,
who i'd never thought they'd do such a thing.
Are doing the messed up things.
Im pretty sure they dont notice because everything is going really great for them at a moment,
but geesh,
think about the others. Care about others before taking your action.

Not cool,
Not at all.

disappointed.

A Magical Door ;

"Dokodemo do-a (door)" from a classic japanese cartoon Doraemon.

It's a magical door, you just say the place you desire to be & open the door. TA-DA! You're there.

that's what i need.

i'd be in Japan right now.

&it's back

Pathetic.

Ventura County Fair #2

So went to the Ventura County Fair again.

All dayy with Churro, aka Clark.

:)

Picked up some hoes (Mitchell, Amanda, & Marsha, aka Kitty, aka 12yearold)

at the Pacific View mall,

then went to the fair.

Split up with the hoess.

& yeeee.

Around Fiiiiive,

dropped the hoes back at the mall,

then Arturo and I went to see a movie, Up.

i cant believe it's a Disney movie. Seriously.

But i liked it. The fat kid was super adorable.

Oh, so after dropping them hoes off,

Arturo, Marsha, and I was walking around

and since i had few money left on the Hot topic gift card,

we decided to go buy candies

(That's what i spent on last time when i was there.

The JONES carbonated candies are the shit. especially the Orange & Cream one)

Fuuuuh, never EVER going back there again.

seriously.

they have a shirt of that one stupid annoying song, "im a jerk",
making these cool things look super lame and colorful.

Playing LMFAO.
seriously.

Magloogan

My Domo :)

Lorena came over to my housee,
had a lot going onnnn, fuuuh.
Haha we came up with terms that has our own little meanings.
Fosheezy.

'Magician'
haha the definition is still stuck in my head because of Jonathan.

BK

1pm ; Started hanging out with Garrett.
I gots a huge lollipop
went to 99cent store that said
"Open 8 to 9, 9days a week"
Saw three smart cars.
3pm ; Went on base
Went to see the bamboo trees and random disgusting bathroom.
Then to park.
I got pwned.
7/8pm (around that time) ; went to BK
Few minutes later Jonathan came.
Stayed there until 12am just talking about randomest things.

"A gook, a spook, and a beaner walks into a bar,
the bartender said 'Get the fuck out'"


Fuuuuuuuuuuuhhh-
"A wheelchair and boxing gloves"

Wonderland

I was too lazy to go down stairs and scan my drawings so that's why the quality is really.. Lame.

I drew them probably around four or five in the morning and colored them few minutes ago.

Posi

I dislike when i have those moments where i feel like everything is just falling down on me.
& words come out of my mouth that i dont mean.

Arturo made my night.
He taught me how to drive ;; scaryy.
i thought i was gonna die.
Then took me to Golf n Stuff.

Natalie Portman's rap blew my mind.
Claps to The Lonely Island.
"We love you Natalie!" "I wanna fuck you too!"

Speaking of Rap, reminding me of Hiphop/R&B ;
i found out Mariah Carey got told by Eminem .
Ouch.

p.s ; Joe Cortez reads my blogs.
YAY!

Ventura County Fair

Speechless, not really in a good way.
i enjoyed the rides .
But my thoughts were filled with something else.

Flashbacks

I went to Carlos's house today. Pretty chill.

Garrett and Jonathan was wrestling while Ismael told us a joke.

Then Matthew and Ismael disappeared
& Mauro showed up while i was asleep on the couch.

Night sucks.
Including the text messages i get.

To make things worse, jealousy comes with Loneliness.

New Room

So due to the internet connection that was unable to reach my room, i had to switch rooms with my dad/ guest room.
I've worked for probably like 11 hours . It's whatever.

Have been frustrated all day not only because of cleaning rooms but other things.

I realized i have a lot of things that reminds me of Arturo or that belongs to Arturo.
Like :
1. His bracelets
2. Blue Ring
3. Mickey Mouse he got for me on his gradnight
4. The letter that came with the Mickey Mouse
5. Part of this glowstick sword
6. His old sidekick
7. His bunny hat
8. His beanie
9. Key chain from Warped Tour 09
10. Penguin Shirt
There's a lot more im pretty sure

BriiiiightSiiiiiiide:
Ryan Faustino made me a video :)
& i made brownies.

Lost memories

*Post at midnight*
I hung out with Joey (ipatzi), Mitchell, Amanda, and Kitty.
it was pretty fun, reminded me of last summer.

On the way home, i drop my base ID,
had to walk back to find it.
Got home at 9:30?

My dad said the computer works,
checks.

My pictures are gone.
all of my over 1500+ pictures.
& most of them are of/from friends.
From freshman year.
Yeah.
Mothafuckingshit.

Herb

7am. Couldnt sleep until 9am.

My hands sting from the touch with the bitterness on my tongue.

My eyes burn from the sight of the past.

To feel numb.

The stings disappear with the clouds that i create.

Leaving that odd taste in my mouth.

My eyes melt, creating a new world filled with fantasies.

I crave.

Fear ;

I stand on palm of your hands. You know if you hold on to me too tight, i'll break. Therefore, because i am weak. When you hold me gently and carefully as possible, i fear that i might fly out of your hand and fall on to the cold ground. Fear, that i will be lost in the city i do not know of, and chasing after your shadows when your presence is everywhere. Fear, that i will not only lose your shadow, but my own. Fear, that my escape would be gone forever ;
You, are my escape.

Steamed Vegetables

I wish i was the actual "meal" instead of the "steamed vegetables" that are on the side that no one eats.

When i mention how amazing and wonderful my friends are, im not lying. I mean every single word that i say.
it's shocking and heartbreaking when my friends doubt my words.
Especially when they know how much they mean to me.
& how much i love them.

I may not be the best, greatest friend on earth.
infact, i probably suck at being a friend.
But that doesnt mean the things i say are not from my heart.

Why would i say meaningless words if i am your friend?

Lewis & Clark Adventure

The sun burnt my skin with its heat. After Clark took the last puff of the cigarette, we walked to a bus stop. Rode on the bus from Port Hueneme to Main Street in Ventura.

I finally hung out with Arturo today. It's been probably like.. two weeks?
Time fleww superr fast.

Second time riding on the bus. it's really entertaining and very exciting.
I felt like a kindergartner who was going on a field trip for the very first time.

i hate myself for not taking my camera.
Arturo and I saw bunch of interesting things.

Soon, Andy joined Lewis and Clark's adventure.

Went to the Cross (?) = amazing.
it reminded me of like teenagers having sex in their car at night after enjoying the city lights.
You know, those... famous scenes in cartoons and movies and shiii --
it was even on the AT&T commercial ;; Well not the sex part.
O f f T o p i c.

Good day , good day ;;
didnt even think about shit that's been bothering me.

"Hey babe,"
ahh, interesting.

Insomnia ;; beach

Went to sleep at 7am and woke up at 11am.
These past days, i cant seem to fall asleep at night.
I always sleep during the morning.


So another late post at a midnight.
Today, (basically yesterday) i went to the Beach with Lorena.
i got more tan, sadly.

A lot of guys were trying to pick us up hahaha.
As soon as we get near the water,
one guy comes up to us asking if we wanted to Party with them,
"Heyy, you guys wanna party? We have some vodka and cranberry"
Then when we were laying on the sand,
these three guys randomly starts talking to us for like 15 minutes.

Took bunch of pictures!!
but i cant or dont want to put them on the new computer
because i dislike this computer.

i want my dad to fix the hard drive on the old one so i can have the computer in my room.
Bahhh!

4am

Nothing to do ; i was going to type about my thoughts but i've decided to put those things to the side because most of the posts are ... i guess.. "emo"-ish?

Well! Todayy, (technically yesterday)
i went to the pool on base [*Note : i cannot swim] with Melinie, Dianne, Jeremy, and his brother, Robert.
Havent been to the pool in such a long time.

So after going in the water couple of times, i wanted to fix my tan line from my shorts.
i've totally forgotten that i did not put a sunscreen on my shoulders and my chest.
So i got burnt. [I didnt noticed until when i went to go take a shower around 1am]

I would post some pictures but i have a new computer
& im not supposed to be saving things yet because i havent trasferred my files from my old computer.
Ohhh Good News!!<3>
Since we (my family) got a new computer,
i get to keep the old one .
Which the computer isnt bad, it's been three years but that's still pretty new i suppose.
i dont think it's a good computer for sharing with the family
so yeah.
:D

The End!

My day

I've decided to draw about my day because it was very boring.

789

Why was six afraid of seven???
Because seven ATE nine. AHAHAHAH, knee slapper

...

pshh.

I drew again, two kitties watching sunset.

;; I was reading a manga today and it's basically about drama and love. Got me wanting to draw something nice & pretty. Something... romantic??

Today was pretty an okay day. On the way to the doctors today, i was playing "Gayfish", "Im on a boat", "I jizzed in my pants", etc. in the car. Yes, infront of all of my siblings and my mom. They didnt understand the song so it was a bummer.

I took a bubble bath todayy!

So niiiiiice .

Hah,

im gonna stop now.

i just realized i put

"WITH a fucking ton"

i meant "weighs a fucking ton"

vvvvvvvvvv

i should check what i typed before i post. hah

Art for Joey

Washington, washingtonn,
six foot eight with a fucking ton.
That song has been stuck in my head all day .



So i got inspired to draw today by listening to some soft music.
So i've decided to draw for Joey when
Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk came on

Not that much of an amazing drawing,
but it has a lot of meaning to it
especially because it's for Joseph Ortega

I am the dark night sky, so you, my star can shine bright.
I live to make you shine.

AX09

On July 2nd and 3rd, i went to my very first Anime Expo.

It was pretty wonderful. They had many things that reminded me of the animes i used to watch when i was a kid. A lot of cosplayers.

AX09 day 1 : I've dressed up as Misty from Pokemon. "Inaccurate" misty because of my red hair which was supposed to be orange-ish color. i blame my mom , haha.

i've never felt so awkward about being asked if they could take a picture of me.

Honestly, i was scared. (especially this one quiet creepy guy)

During the lunch break in the car, or basically the end of the day, i've felt pretty crappy, probably because i was the only girl. Then i somewhat got better.

AX09 day 2 : I've learned to ignore. that's all im going to say.

Ignored / Warped Tour '09

Lately, i feel like im being ignored. As if he has no intention of communicating with me.

Everynight, no matter how fantastic my day was, it gets ruined because he never leaves my mind.

I've given up on trying, because it never works and it's the same, repeating itself. Feels like my pride is getting crushed. Wishes and dreams makes the issue worse but it seems as if i cannot stop.

"What's wrong babe, did not daddy give you enough attention?"

Bulls Make Money, Bears Make Money, Pigs Get Slaughtered - Chiodos

I seem to have created a fear for friendships

On the bright side, today was Warped Tour ' 09

Escape the Fate was already playing when i was in the line trying to get into the Fair Grounds.

& I missed A Day To Remember because i've mistaken the Hurley stage with Hurley.com stage. = bummer.

But other than that, it was pretty amazing.
Wished i could've stayed a little longer and gone into a pit but my ankle held me back.

More pictures on myspace

Grave of the Fireflies

Saddest movie everr.
It's an animated Japanese movie.
i dont wanna explain the story,
so must watch .


Currently:
I felt my heavy heart beat,
& i couldnt breathe.

Fuuuuck...
and i failed again,
Why? Because i suck. :)

062109

I've been obsessed with acoustic / soft music.
it feels nice to sing along with it in my room,
just laying on the bed.

I've been having the urge to go to the park around midnight,
it must be nice to walk around the park at night
with the cold breeze
with no kids around but the calmness and the silence.

& im in the need to watch Disney movies.
Not the movies that came out these past five years,
but the really old,
classic, disney movies
like,
Aladdin, Lion King, Snow white, etc.
the movies i've been watching since i was born.

:)